Dealing with Bullies

IN THIS ARTICLE:

- Welcome: “Dealing with Bullies”
- Feature: “Tips to deal with bullying behavior”
- Teacher/Parent Book Pick: “The Bully Free Classroom”
- K-3 Book Pick: “The Ant Bully”
- 4-6 Book Pick: “Taking the Bully by the Horns”
- Web Discoveries: “Stop the Bullies”
- Words of Wisdom: “Peaceful quotes about bully behavior”

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WELCOME: “Dealing with Bullies”

 

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Dear Readers,

From time to time, your children will be outside of a supervised environment.  With that in mind, we must be prepared to deal with the scourge of childhood, the bully.

Apparently bullies have been around for quite some time.  This Germanic word was used as early as 1538. It’s defined as “a blustering browbeating person; especially one habitually cruel to others who are weaker.”

And how does a child resist a bully?  It’s not always easy, but with nearly 500 years of experience you can be sure that plenty of good ideas are available.  I’ve found a few of them for you below.

Best regards,

Kent Davis – Editor

info@lifeskills4kids.com

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FEATURE: “Tips for Dealing with Bullying Behavior”

by Kent Davis

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Here’s a summary of what the experts say: 

If your child is the victim of a bully:

• Don’t be embarrassed.
• Find out what really happened.
• Get the facts.
• Don’t blame anyone.
• Talk with your child about strategies of dealing with the bully.  Suggest that they assert themselves, walk away or get help.
• Give your child specific actions to take the next time they are in the same situation. Role-playing with your child is an effective way to teach proper behavior.
• Do your best to build your child’s self confidence after a bullying incident. Ask your child how you can help.  Offering to help and getting your child to participate in finding solutions will make the difference.

If your child is bullying other children:

• Try not to be defensive about your child’s behavior.
• Find out what really happened.  Get the facts.
• Don’t blame anyone.
• Listen to what your child has to say about his or her actions.
• Make it very clear that bullying other children is not an acceptable way to act.
• Set clear consequences if your child bullies again.
• Give your child specific actions to take the next time they are in the same situation.  Role-playing with your child is an effective way to teach proper behavior.
• When you see improved behavior, recognize and reward your child.

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TEACHER/PARENT BOOK PICKS

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“Bullies & Victims:
Helping Your Child Survive the Schoolyard Battlefield”
by Suellen Fried, Paula Fried

This book gives parents and teachers an in-depth look at bullying behavior.

“The Bully Free Classroom:
Over 100 Tips and Strategies for Teachers K-8″
by Allan L. Beane

USA Today featured this book and the author’s effective strategies for coping with bully behavior and making classrooms a place to learn, not fear. The book is well organized and graphically interesting.  It also has a survey you can use to give you and your children a better perspective of bullies – who has been bullied and who is a bully.

“What to Do… When Kids Are Mean to Your Child”
by Elin McCoy

With the advice of parents and children, Elin McCoy empowers parents to help their kids solve the “bully” problem.  She has it boiled down to six tactics that help children defend themselves.  She also has helpful advice when your child is the bully.  Although the book is aimed at parents, educators also praise its practical solutions.

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GRADE K-3 BOOK PICKS

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“The Ant Bully”
by John Nickle

 

“Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain” by Trevor Romain (Illustrator), Elizabeth Verdick

 

 

 

 

 

With a little humor, this book delivers serious, practical suggestions that helps kids understand, avoid and stand up to bullies while preserving their own self-esteem. The light tone helps kids absorb a variety of practical ways to deal with bullies.

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GRADE 4-6 BOOK PICK

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“How to Handle Bullies, Teasers and Other Meanies: A Book That Takes the Nuisance Out of Name Calling and Other Nonsense”

by Kate Cohen-Posey

“How many times has a bully or teaser upset you? If you have been upset very many times, this is the book for you! You no longer have to be somebody’s victim and feel terrible and you don’t have to act like a bully or tease to protect yourself. In fact, you can turn someone else’s annoying behavior into a game and have a good time. This book will tell you how… “

Many experts suggest role-play as a way to prepare yourself to hold on to your self-esteem when you’re under attack. This book gives practical self-defense advice. Its focus is dealing with from verbal, rather than physical, bullying. Some of the issues discussed include dealing with annoying name-calling, prejudice, anger, dangerous situations, and the causes of difficult behavior. It even contains “12 ways for melting meanness.” 

“Taking the Bully by the Horns” By Kathy Noll

This is a book for children and for instructors. It offers practical strategies and also helps understand the motivation for bullying behaviors. Why do kids want to hurt other kids? One reviewer commented “It is a “must read” for all martial arts instructors.” With the popularity of martial arts lessons among kids today, that sounds like an excellent piece of advice.

 

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WEB DISCOVERIES: for teachers, parents & kids

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STOP Bullying Now!

http://www.stopbullyingnow.com

The links on this site will lead you through an exploration of interventions that work to reduce bullying in schools.

“That bully only looks so tall …

Because he makes you feel so small …

But you can shrink him down to size …

By standing up and being wise!”

 

 

 

Child Abuse Prevention Services

http://www.kidsafe-caps.org

Child Abuse Prevention Services (CAPS) is a not for profit, volunteer organization founded in 1982 to respond to the growing problem of child abuse and neglect on Long Island, New York. In 1995 CAPS created the Child Safety Institute, providing innovative and comprehensive child safety and child prevention programs and materials. Check out the Kids Room Games for some fun interactive exercises.

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WORDS OF WISDOM:

“Peaceful Quotes about Bully Behavior“

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“First they ignore you.
Then they laugh at you.
Then they fight you.
Then you win.”
Gandhi

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.”
Isaac Asimov

“He who passively accepts evil
is as much involved in it
as he who helps to perpetrate it.”
Martin Luther King

“Treat others just as you want to be treated.”
Luke 6:31

NOTE: Christianity isn’t the only religion to teach the ultimate anti-bullying solution with “The Golden Rule”.  The amazing thing is that every religion (except two!) give the same advice to followers.  ReligiousTolerance.org offered the best comparison page:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/reciproc.htm